If you check the rate of divorce for the past couple of years, you will find that in many places it is steadily climbing. This is devastating and worrisome. Many times if you talk to your grandparent or great-grand, they will tell you that in their day’s marriages flourish a lot more than now.
I was curious as to why old-fashioned relationships worked so well and the following was what I came up with.
Sexual Practices: People are more public about the act of sex which can cause couples to be more curious. At times, the demands of one partner are out of the comfort zone of the other and this lack of satisfaction may lead to infidelity.
Then; there was less access to the internet and social media where “uncommon”, sexual practices were not so widely shared and publicized making persons less curious and more satisfied with what they practice regularly with their partner.
Female Submission: Back then women were very submissive to their men because the men were the primary breadwinners. Men like to be in control and feel all powerful and relish in the authority they had at home with their women and children.
Now women are more career-driven and self-sufficient. They want to work for themselves and be treated as equal in the relationship. Not all men like such occurrence and feel threatened by their partner hence seek to find another who is willing to submit.
Social Activities: Back then couples spent most of their time at home together with the occasional “picture watching” on a clear night. This cause them to be more in tune with what is happening with each other and be able to detect and fix any problems that may arise. Now persons find pleasure going to the hairdressing salon, ball games, bars, the mall etc. all of which are places where people meet and chit-chat and paying less attention to what is happening at home.
This provides an opportunity for men and women who are already involved in a relationship to lust after another person and become attracted to them and may eventually yield to the temptation of being unfaithful, or wanting to be single so they don’t feel guilty if they hook up with anybody they meet and happen to like.
Role Confusion: Men were primarily the providers and protectors, while women were primarily the nurturers and were depended upon to provide that gentle touch. Their children would grow up seeing obvious roles they should play when they become a part of an intimate relationship.
Nowadays due to rise in single parenting, boys see their mother playing all those roles in one likewise girls with their fathers. So no one taught boys to be men and girls to be women. This could cause role confusion. That being said, there are persons who are protective of what their role is in a relationship and what their partner’s role should be and when that partner “impinges” on their role then this could cause them to feel less significant and seek someone else with whom they feel more fulfilled.
Social Status: This is driven by money! Back then there were more or less two social classes; the lower class and the upper class. People knew where they belong and were content with what they had.
Now, there is the lower class, the upper lower class, the middle class, the upper middle class and the upper class. Because the next class is just in reach of the former, it pushes persons to work just a little harder in order to achieve a higher status in society.
Achieving this fuels the need to go even higher and higher and this may turn into greed or an obsession, you pick! Family life and cultivating a healthy marriage get thrown on the back burner because you have to be busy working, working, working in order to achieve more and this more often than not results in a broken marriage.
Does this sound familiar?
Wife: “Honey, you’re spending too much time in the office these days, why can’t you come home early sometimes? I feel like we are drifting apart”
Husband: “I will do that in due time dear, right now the only way we will be able to live more comfortably is if I do this now.”
The bottom line is; contentment has a lot to do with happiness. Contented couples are usually happy couples and happy couples seek to make maintaining a happy and healthy marriage a priority.