Having a romantic relationship is good but maintaining a healthy one is a very delicate issue. Often times, we believe that if we make rules that should govern a particular event or situation then we can control its outcome.
However, as much as that notion may be true for many things, I can hardly agree if it is acceptable for romantic relationships.
For instance, for a relationship to work, many couples say you should never belittle each other, be a good communicator, show interest in what each person is doing, be encouraging and never nag. Other couples may say you should avoid assumptions and accusations in a relationship because most times they turn out to be false, instead, you should make gentle inquiries and get the facts and not jump to conclusions.
Should a relationship be confined to-dos and don’ts? To what extent can they guarantee a favorable outcome? Yes, I agree that conforming to those will help in diffusing a few arguments and bring a little happiness for a while but you can be the best partner ever and your relationship still gets trashed because something is missing.
I believe for any relationship to work, and I mean truly work, there must first be compatibility. The attraction usually starts by what we see, the image that is right before us, like, the guy is tall, muscular and handsome, the girl is curvy with a great smile, wow, look at that body! and the list goes on. However, it makes no sense you torture yourself by slapping on a bunch of rules to something that is purely physical, you have to feel it out and see if you guys are compatible.
When both of you are compatible, your relationship has a better chance of flourishing because you will have the freedom to be yourself. If you are free to be yourself around your partner then conforming to a few “rules” will be less of a torture and more of a pleasure as both of you would share the same goal of wanting the relationship to work.
At the end of the day, I suggest that you ease up the strain that is placed on dos and don’ts in a relationship and just focus on the things that keep you together as a couple rather than what separates you as individuals.
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