How to Choose Your Lifelong Partner

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Lifelong Partner

It is simply human to want a lifelong partner, but how many of you really know how to choose one? Some say when they see the person they will just know, some prefer to get a confirmation over and over again while still there are others who even if the obvious hit them in the face like a cricket ball they still wouldn’t realize.

Since that department of your life needs some assistance, I’m certain you will find the following interesting.

When choosing a partner, picky and superficial are no, no. Yes, you must have a standard but that standard has to be realistic and workable. Fairy tales are just fairy tales. When it comes on to real relationships, now that is a mixture of romance, action, suspense, and drama.

First, really internalize what goals you plan to achieve in life. Commonly; a great career, a few children, own your home and a nice vehicle and be able to afford a comfortable living. Okay.

MORE: The Secret Behind Compatible Couples

Next, answer the following questions: Are you a spiritual person? Do you place great emphasis on having a cohesive family? Do you believe you are a leader or a follower? Are you very health conscious?

The answers to these questions will reveal the kind of person you are and will be a great start in pointing you in which direction to look for compatibility. You will now decide what you will or will not tolerate and what qualities or attitudes of the person are negotiable. If you do not know who you are, you can’t possibly understand what it is you really want in a relationship or what your role in it should be.

What is it that you are really looking for in a partner? Is it only someone to receive nice gifts from and to go on trips with? Is it someone who is perfect to be the father or mother of your children? Is it someone who is just a listening buddy for when you have problems you can talk with? Is it just someone to have just in case your friends ask you if you have a mate you can say yes? Is it someone who should just be able to please you sexually? Or, is it just to have someone for having someone sake?

If you have chosen any one of the reasons above then clearly you are missing the big picture. The right partner must be all of these wrapped up in one.

MORE: Relationship: How to Make It Work

Try not to itemize your “standards” as tall, slim, fat, black hair, sexy lips, big feet. These qualities are changeable and if and when they change, will your attraction or love waver? Instead, look for more ingrown qualities and attitudes in the person, like, respectful, caring, a good communicator, kind, spiritual, hard working, ambitious, family oriented etc. There is a great chance that these will never change. It is just who that person is.

At times too, your heart can be a little troublesome because no matter how your head tells you this is bad for you, your heart says “well I’m in love!” Love can blind your eyes to many things like the fact that you are not achieving any of your life’s goals, you are being abused (verbally or physically), you are segregated from family and friends, you seem only to be ‘happy’ around him or her. If you are in this situation then think about this: Love causes you to soar not sink, so is this truly love? Are you soaring or are you sinking?

Companions will come and go, some whose company you might have enjoyed. Choosing a partner is no joke. Ensure you know yourself first then go along the lines to search for that person who is best suited for you and chosen by you. The input of family and friends are important but at the end of the day the choice is yours.

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Karlene Smith is a Registered Nurse, Registered Midwife and currently studying her MSc in Nurse Anesthesia. Karlene likes to write about parenting, health, and relationship issues. Connect with her on LinkedIn

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