Getting to Know You Phase: Why Do Women Stay Quiet?

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Why do women stay quiet

Yea, yea, yea, I’m grown enough to admit that women are usually smarter than men, but there seems to be a certain thing that eludes women which men happen to be experts on.

Since I’m such a nice guy, I’m going to go ahead and share it with our female readers even though I’m sure the men would rather I didn’t. However, have no fear guys, it might just help to lift the scandalous idea that “no good men are left” from off of us, so go ahead and support me as I give a little.

Each day men around the world find a way to include the pursuit of a woman in their schedules, and women around the world find a way to include preparing themselves to be pursued in their schedules also.

Even though both genders of the specie have been thoroughly equipped for their role in the forming of unions between men and women, there are so many times when women are left saying, or at least thinking, that all the good men are already taken while the men hardly ever have a complain at all.

Men are hunters, they are hardwired like that, and for each woman a man pursues, he aggressively seeks to determine if she makes a suitable life partner for him or not. He does this by the myriad of questions he asks her, none of which are meaningless.

His mind sifts through all the answers in the back ground seeking patterns which eventually generate the next question… and the next…and the next, while messages from body language, tone of voice, facial expressions and even the reaction of the social surrounding in which the conversation takes place, all get mixed into the whole blend.

The patterns that he generates are then compared to every other woman he has ever talked with, heard about or otherwise interacted with to create a classification, then the wide array of questions become more focused, because he has by now determined the approach to use as he seeks to win the love and commitment of a woman he deems worthy.

You may by now be wondering what has become of those deemed unworthy as a potential life partner, so I will quickly put the thought behind you. A man quickly puts a lot of distance between himself and those found to be least desirable. Some may be found to possess the qualities of the kind of person the man would love to have as a friend, so that kind of relationship may be pursued in such a case and for others, I will sum it up in a brief statement and hope you read between the line; “men don’t only sleep with women who they want to marry.”

Now, I will not pretend to know what happens in a woman’s head during courtship, so I will just stick to the parameters of what I have observed and what I have been told. Based on those two avenues I realized that women don’t seem to ask a lot of questions when talking with a man in that first phase of getting to know each other, but seem to spend a lot of time listening.

I have been told that women tend to do this for many reasons, one of which is to soak up as much information about the man as possible, so that she has enough notes to compare later on in the relationship.

My concern with the alleged female approach is; if a woman goes ahead and let a man into her life before she determines if he is genuine, who actually loses?

A man may have discovered that a woman is totally wrong for him from the third question he asks her. However continue a two-hour conversation just to find ways to sleep with her and be able to move on afterwards without any fall outs; the woman, on the other hand, might get pulled in and conclude that “men are dogs”.

Just for the record, dogs can be trained just the way you like them, and they are often more faithful to humans than humans are to each other. So ladies, the bottom line is; ask more questions when you are courting, and if you are not that type, at least ask him the same questions that he asked you, it will knock him off his game a little and give you some useful information for once.

Men usually answer certain questions asked by a woman when he intends to play above board. So if you realize that he is withholding answers then at worst case you will have saved yourself from having to give up so much of your own information.

Now that you have a way to avoid a pitfall, I will just leave you with a tiny bit more wisdom…most men are great guys, you just have to hold them to that standard or they will simply default to the path of least resistance which is the version of the man you may not like so much. For all our sakes, now that you know that there are a lot of good men out there, can some of you ladies go get yourself a good man and stop ragging on us with the ‘all the good men are taken nonsense’, besides, so many single women tempt men to stay single, but that’s for another day.

Photo credit: Thinkstock

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Gary J. Smith is a teacher by practice and a builder by trade, in his late 30s and the 'life of the party'. His friends say he is too technical but calls him with the 'relationship what to do questions' any way. Married to one of the sweetest women in the world for thirteen years and counting and carries the notion that "real" people are simply better people…

2 Responses to “Getting to Know You Phase: Why Do Women Stay Quiet?”

  1. caula says:

    What are some of the questions we should be asking while dating? I don’t want to come on too strong and scare him away.

  2. Fabian says:

    This is a very helpful article which in my opinion would benefit females that hold that point of view. Keep up the good work Mr.Smith i must share this.

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